Life Lessons from Candy Crush

You may have clicked the link thinking, "Come on Mwape! Why do you always have to be so deep? Candy Crush is JUST a GAME. Why do you have to mess it up for us by coming up with life lessons from a game?" 

The simple answer is, I couldn’t help it. For those who know me, I’m such a deep thinker. I’m so reflective. When I see an apple, I’m not just seeing an apple. Everything makes me think deeper. It is often a good thing, because I take so much from the simplest of things. SO, let’s cut down to the chase: 

1. Daily Treats are a Much-Needed Boost

The daily treats were a much-needed innovation. They really change lives (pun intended). The lollipop and the hand are my favourite. Interesting enough, God has given us a daily treat to help us through every single day we wake up; His word. Don’t forget to read through his word daily, it is all the boost you need to get you through whatever the day will unfold.

     2.  Winning Streaks May Lead to Pride

I don’t know about you but every time I have a winning streak, I get so excited that I play the 6^th level in a row without looking at the corner that shows what is required of me. It is normally after playing about 10 moves that I realise I haven’t won yet and I’m like wait! Hold up! What am I supposed to be doing again? Oh, it's fruit I'm supposed to be collecting!

The first time this happened, it instantly reminded me of my attitude during my “winning” seasons in life. I get so much confidence in my own abilities that I forget that I need to always remember to check what is required of me. I’m on such a hype that I forget that I need to remember what I am supposed to be doing, remember to read my word in order to know how to live and remember that I need God because it is actually not my abilities that saw me through all the victories whether great or small, it was his grace.  

     3. Bad games remind you to Plan and Strategise

On the other hand, when I lose, I’m instantly taken back to playing with a plan and strategy. What does it look like? Looking at the number of moves you have, how much time you have, how many fruits you need to collect, how you can collect the boosters to help you in your crisis etc. Sometimes it even means pausing for a moment and just staring at your screen for a few minutes in order to see the bigger picture. 

I find life to be like that too. The bad grades in school push us to pray harder, get help from the ones who thrive in class, see our lecturers and be intentional about our studies. The days we hear of the passing away of others remind us to number our days right that we may gain a heart of wisdom. The bad relationship days push us to get back to the drawing board and look to God's word as well as the counsel of others. 

When you really think about it, perhaps bad days are not all so bad if they bring us closer to God.

      4. Friends are a blessing

Y’all! Those times when you are in the zone and you feel the win coming with each time you try and then BAM!

It boils down to three options. You stop playing; we all know that that is out of the question, I mean come on, you can feel the win coming and you’re not a quitter. Buying lives? You love candy crush, but not that much. OR asking your friends to send you lives. 

Before you know it, the loyal ones have come through.

Life, is like that too, when we are in a crisis, there are those friends who we know we can count on, they hold us down, have our backs and they just always come through. Such a blessing. 


 5. Consult those who have “graduated”

Let me not even talk about those levels that just don’t make sense! Those levels where you have 6 moves to work a miracle. You know you are not Moses and your stick will not part this sea- you lose. You have tried and tried to make it work but it is just not adding up.

You finally do what you knew you should have done all along: YouTube!

And then you realise you wasted your time because it is actually nothing fancy but luck

The point is, when you feel stuck and do not know what to do, remember that there are people who have gone through the same and call them, message them and have a chat about how they made it through. Share your struggles. And for the people who have graduated from these seasons, let’s not forget to be real, honest and helpful. As my dad says “store these experiences up, God will use them to help others who are coming after you”

      6. When Something gets hard you don’t quit, you take a break

Some levels are so hard. You’ve tried and tried, and it just won’t budge. 

You take a break, but you don’t quit. Sometimes we need time away from the situation to come back refreshed and able to conquer. There are many things we encounter in life that we try multiple times to work through and get so tired that we just want to throw in the towel. Pray, go read your word, do something else for a minute, drink that cold or hot drink, watch an episode of friends, call that friend and cry and laugh and get back to it. You can do it!

In other news; I'm currently on level 2717! 

If you play it too, share how far you've gone in the comment section below.

What You May Not Know About Grief (Part I)

This beautiful article has been written by someone who chooses to remain anonymous. It gives a fresh perspective on grief that comes with the loss of a loved one.

Here’s the thing about grief, it’s different, each and every time. We try our best to comfort our understanding of it with things like “the five stages of grief” but at the end of the day, no matter how much theory you may have behind it, there’s no blueprint to how you deal with it, there just isn’t, and not many people tell you that. I’ve had the misfortune of losing different people, including both my parents at different stages of my life. The biggest problem I faced initially was that I hadn’t realized that I was grieving the wrong way, that a storm was silently brewing within me, a storm filled with unhealthy emotions and releases, ready to explode as soon as I had reached my saturation point. It inevitably lead me down a dark path but that path allowed me to search the issue of grief and how best to deal with it. It allowed me to look at what helps and what doesn’t and with all my initial thoughts on it and all the clichés that people had often said to me over the years, I came to understand that, in my experience, there’s a lot that no one tells you about it. There’s a lot that some people assume, a lot that others sometimes wrongly regard as common practice or effect, a lot that others really don’t know and, in one way or another, can’t know and most importantly, there’s so much that YOU the griever may not know too. So here’s a few things that perhaps no one will tell you or has ever told you(as someone grieving or working with someone that is grieving). 

Disclaimer! You may know them already or not find them valid/helpful. Grief is not a one size fits all, experiences are different.

1. At some point, more often than not, you’re not haunted by the memory of your loved one but by the guilt of feeling as though you are actually forgetting them. Their voice, their laugh, their actual prominent thought in your mind. A couple of memorial days down the line you start to forget the date or miss their birthday and all of a sudden you feel terrible because you feel as though you’re losing them all over again, only in your mind this time. You are caught between either being too emotionally invested in their death or feeling too guilty that you’re not thinking about them enough.
2. It is not encouraging to hear that the people you’ve lost are proud of you. Not because of any other reasons but that there’s absolutely no way of knowing that, nor is there a biblical inclination towards such things being possible or true. Caught in the mix of those two issues is the prison you build yourself as you constantly try to make them proud without actually knowing what that looks like and so you attribute it to things like success and status. Which is wrong.
3. No one else understands what you specifically are going through, that’s okay. But the problem lies in telling yourself that, because you build walls around yourself telling yourself that no one will ever understand you and throw yourself all kinds of pity parties. Just because no one can fully understand it all does not mean that they cannot help you or that they cannot even partially empathize or sympathize. Fact is that is enough if you let it be and sometimes you miss the great encouragement you could possibly get from others simply because we rule them out on the basis of them not knowing or experiencing exactly what you do/have.
4. Without knowing it you will probably align your grief with release. That release will often present itself as a vice but the tricky part is recognizing that vice. Particularly because we only think of vices in relation to drink and drugs and sex, yet we miss simple things like emotionally damaging relationships, “over-venting”, anger, entitlement, superiority and inferiority complexes, sadness and the feeding of it, extreme activities, success, status and an entire inexhaustible list.
5. Probably the most important one that people either don’t say or do say but just say without actually thinking about, there’s peace and there’s healing. The reasons I say that most people don’t actually and properly think about them are; they don’t know what that peace looks like or where it’s found, and sometimes when they do, they don’t know what that means exactly in regard to healing or how it can be attained or even when! I’m not sure what your grieving process has looked like for you, as I said before it looks different for everyone. However, this peace comes from one place and I’ll tell you more about it in part 2! 

24 Things About 24 Year Old Me

Enough about the serious and deep stuff already!

I am switching this up a little bit, this is a simple and chilled blogpost about me. 

Who is Mwape, you may ask. She is the girl in the picture below. As for the rest guess you have to read on and find out. 

1.    My full names are Mwape Mbewe. I know, no middle name. Ive been getting on to my parents about that. 

2.    I was named after my fathers older sister. She is Dr Mwape Kabole. She has to be one of the sweetest and most generous people on this earth.

3.    My favourite thing about myself is my childlike heart. I see the world innocently. I like it that way.

4.    I was born in my parents bedroom. I think that’s why I’m a home girl.

5.    One of my gifts is that I see an entrepreneurial opportunity in almost everything I lay my eyes on.

6.    I gave my life to Christ in 2009. Has not been the smoothest journey but absolutely worth it.

7.    I am a sucker for love. Love is so deep and beautiful. Shame on people who take its beauty away from it. 

8.    I love DIY projects. I believe if someone can do it, so can I. Lord knows how many things I choose to do for myself, it keeps life exciting though.

9.    The worst grade I ever got in a test is 6%. In university! Haha! Funny story, my friend and I were both sure we had failed the test after we wrote it but we both did not believe the other was being honest about how bad it was. We agreed that the one who got the highest grade would buy the other a drink. Results came out and I got 6%, she got 4%. When my roommate heard us arguing about buying the drink she couldn’t believe we made an argument over such poor grades. 

10.  I wish I could sing. Why didn’t God give me that talent? Because he knew if I could sing I would not have a blog but a YouTube channel and would unnecessarily sing everything I say.

11.  I spent most of my 17^thbirthday crying and sad because I woke up to no birthday messages and throughout my day I generally felt so unloved. I am that extra. You'd be proud to know that since then I made some changes.

12.  My mummy has left the most impact on my life. Thinking about my mother makes me want to cry. Although like normal human beings we sometimes drive each other crazy, I love her so much. She has always been there for me. She is such a strong woman, even when I don’t think its necessary Lol. She is amazing and I love her.

13.  I can’t ride a bike and neither can I swim. The science of a human being floating and balancing on two wheels just doesn’t add up for me and stands in the way of me being able to do both activities. Let’s not even talk about how I’m not okay with my hair getting wet.

14.  I have only been to 5 Countries; Zambia, South Africa, Zimbabwe, the United Kingdom and Italy. Just chill, I am working on it, guys.

15.  When I was a lot younger I wanted to be a primary school teacher. I loved teaching my teddy bears and dolls using my little chalk board when I got home from school.

16.  My first job was as a merchandiser. Another funny story. One time in high school the phone bill came out and my father discovered I had been using the home landline to make calls to my boyfriend. As a way of teaching me a lesson he organized for me to work during my school holidays in order to make some money to pay for the bill Haha! Well, by the time I got paid I forgot why I was working and I think he forgot too cause I ended up using it to spoil myself J

17.  One of my weaknesses is that I care so much what people think about me. It is such a stressful life to live and I am working on being better in that area. Baby steps.

18.  I love dogs! Most people who know me know this. I will do whatever is in my power to make sure my dogs are well, comfortable and happy. Grateful God made them. They make the world a brighter place.

19.  I am such a procrastinator. It’s so sad.

20.  I am all about living a fulfilled life. I really struggle with doing things I don’t love or believe in. I would “settle” for a job other people would look down on that makes my life full, than be miserable doing one that looks good. Life is too short to not do what you love.

21.  If I get my hands on something I will do it to the best of my ability. It’s got to be the best, unless I’m just done, then I will be too tired to care.

22.  Unlike most females, I am not a chocolate person. I just don’t get the fuss.

23.  Some of my pet peeves include; when people can’t whisper, when people are unruly or inconsiderate, when skid marks are left in the toilet bowl, know-it-alls, two people walking on the sidewalk and expecting you to fly over them (like person 2, can you just walk behind person 1 for a second? Please and thanks). I'll end here.

24. I love to write. Wish I was disciplined enough to do it more often.

Who would have thought coming up with 24 facts about myself would be quite the exercise. 

Such an achievement.

*Whispering* 25. I love Gifs.

Choosing Gratitude

                                     

                                                                                                                     

You know what has been on my mind the last couple of days? Gratitude. 

I am not sure how many of you remember the first couple of times you heard the Bible story of the ten lepers in Luke 17:11-19. For me, the times I remember hearing it when I was a lot younger, I really looked down on the nine who did not come back to Jesus to say thank you. I am not sure if you can relate. I’ll be nice enough to give you a second; just think about it. See!

One thing that I often do is try to put myself in the shoes of someone and think of whether I would do what they did or make the same decision they did. Just to go off track a little, this started some time back when someone asked me to imagine if I was born during the years Jesus walked on this earth and think about whether I would have actually been among those who believed in him or wanted him crucified. And when I thought of that it opened my mind and soon became a thing that I adopted; learning to walk in others shoes.

Okay, back to the track. When I heard about the ten lepers and the one who came back saying thank you, I definitely felt confident that if I was one of the lepers I would definitely not be among the ungrateful nine. But let me tell you something, it has been a number of years and I cannot count how many times I have done as the nine did.

You know how life on earth gets, there’s almost always something I believe I am lacking and desperately need God to come through and intervene. Some needs are so important, a matter of life and death, so much is at stake. Much like the ten lepers. Their lives were on the line. I am not sure how much y’all know about leprosy but from my research it is really bad. Fingers falling, skin looking cray and you are deprived of living a normal life. Imagine being healed from such a dreadful disease. Amazing. 

How many times do we face situations where we desperately need a miracle? When the miracle comes through do we actually return to the God who we so desperately pleaded with. Or do we sometimes get carried away with the gift that we immediately forget the giver. 

Remember that terrible final semester that you didn’t think you would pull through and thought you would not graduate? Or is it that season of heartbreak during which you thought your heart would never smile again? Was it the time when you lacked the finances for something important? Maybe it was even your health or that of a loved one. It could even be the small things like asking him to protect you during a short trip and not saying thank you for the safe arrival, praying that a test goes well or asking for a good day ahead. Sometimes it is the things or relationships we pray for and God mercifully blesses us, and we quickly kick him off the throne and place that idol above him- loving the gift more than the giver.

I don’t know about you, but I am terribly guilty of many of these examples. Judging the ungrateful nine lepers when I am a 21^stcentury version of them. I have been convicted of the fact that I mirror the very same behaviour more often than not. 

However, as always, despite my flaws, God’s grace and unmerited favour and mercy is new each and every morning. I am glad he has opened my mind to this realisation that I MUST remember to go back to him, my father, with praise and gratitude for his continued undeserved goodness in my life. I hope this encourages you to do the same. 

Here’s to being the grateful one!

Image: versiondaily.com

Day 4- Types of Reactions to Break-Up News

Statistics show that 3 out of 3 people have experienced a break up atleast once in their life. My other name is ‘statistics’. Truth be told I was too lazy to find out how many people experience it but I am convinced that everyone has, atleast once in their lifetime. If you haven’t, bless your heart. I pray you never do. If you have experienced it before, you know how unbearable the pain is. My sister and I often laugh about how you don’t know what to do with the pain and you are short of taking yourself to the hospital and requesting that they admit you.

When other people learn of the news, either through gossip or you telling them, there are interesting reactions that one gets. I decided to put some together in this blog post.

Here goes.

1.The Rejoicers

These tend to be the people dear to your heart. They are the ones who you felt comfortable enough to share your relationship journey with. Because they knew some dynamics of your relationship, they may have felt that it was not the best fit for you. When you let them know of your breakup they either let you know straight up that they are happy to hear that. This is where you hear them say things like

“This time never go back”

“Thank goodness you have finally woken up”

“If you ever take him/her back I will never talk to you”

But you also have those who are subtle who pass comments like

“It’s a shame you can never go back”

2. The self-absorbed

There are also those people who are under the impression that they had the right to know first. You know, when you are going through the disappointment of heartbreak, the last thing on your mind is a list of those who you should tell. You are not yourself. You are in pain. Your heart hurts. All you want to do is get through the day for the first couple of days, weeks or months. In the confusion of it all you do not want to speak about it. Then you receive the messages saying “Oh! So you broke up and did not tell me? I thought we were friends?”

“Uhmmm, I’m sorry that I just experienced this huge disappointment and forgot to put informing you above my pain. “

3. The Probbers

Then you have the people who have heard via gossip who message or call you to get you to tell them. They have already heard from somewhere else. I know you are wondering why they contact you so that you can repeat the same news to them, unfortunately, I have no idea either. They have never showed concern for your relationship before and today all of a sudden you recieve that strange message saying;

“Hey! How are you doing? How is your boyfriend?”

I see what you’re trying to do there but if you are not my friend enough to show genuine concern then I’m sorry you need to go back where you from and do better.

 4. Those who do not care

These really hurt right in the feels. These are the ones who are dear to you who you did tell about what you are going through, but never bothered to check on you passed the time you last spoke about the break up.

Let me get this right. Someone is going through a rough time and you do not care enough to check on them despite being fully aware of it? They trusted you enough to open up to you and you can’t be bothered to send a message or call them and just find out how they are doing? Understandably some will get busy with other things going on in their lives but take a second to just let the person know you are thinking of them. That makes a whole lot of a difference.

5. The Ready

A day after you let them know you are going through a breakup they have a fully compiled list of new options for you. It almost feels like they had the list ready before the break up happened.

Jamie from the church conference last year

Chipo from the youth group

Temwani from that sister church

Chikondi who has been your friend for a long time

Hilary from your class

Excuse me? Its barely been a minute since I lost the person I had plans to spend the rest of my life with. If you could just chill that would be nice.

 6. The Angels on Earth

These people are such a breath of fresh air. They contact you to basically talk about anything and nothing because they know that you are probably getting lonely. When you open up about how you are feeling they listen and thoughtfully guide you through your thought process. They message you to just let you know they are praying for you. They call you to just check on you and laugh with you. They may not hear about the break up from you but once they do they are quick to not make it about themselves and see that there is someone in need so how can I help and make the pain less unbearable.

Which of these are you? Break ups are not easy seasons, heart break is so painful. Be mindful to not make light other peoples heartbreak. I cannot emphasize enough how trying break ups are. Be the person who shows genuine concern. Let’s search our hearts and ask God to help us to be the angels on earth.