Day 4- Types of Reactions to Break-Up News

Statistics show that 3 out of 3 people have experienced a break up atleast once in their life. My other name is ‘statistics’. Truth be told I was too lazy to find out how many people experience it but I am convinced that everyone has, atleast once in their lifetime. If you haven’t, bless your heart. I pray you never do. If you have experienced it before, you know how unbearable the pain is. My sister and I often laugh about how you don’t know what to do with the pain and you are short of taking yourself to the hospital and requesting that they admit you.

When other people learn of the news, either through gossip or you telling them, there are interesting reactions that one gets. I decided to put some together in this blog post.

Here goes.

1.The Rejoicers

These tend to be the people dear to your heart. They are the ones who you felt comfortable enough to share your relationship journey with. Because they knew some dynamics of your relationship, they may have felt that it was not the best fit for you. When you let them know of your breakup they either let you know straight up that they are happy to hear that. This is where you hear them say things like

“This time never go back”

“Thank goodness you have finally woken up”

“If you ever take him/her back I will never talk to you”

But you also have those who are subtle who pass comments like

“It’s a shame you can never go back”

2. The self-absorbed

There are also those people who are under the impression that they had the right to know first. You know, when you are going through the disappointment of heartbreak, the last thing on your mind is a list of those who you should tell. You are not yourself. You are in pain. Your heart hurts. All you want to do is get through the day for the first couple of days, weeks or months. In the confusion of it all you do not want to speak about it. Then you receive the messages saying “Oh! So you broke up and did not tell me? I thought we were friends?”

“Uhmmm, I’m sorry that I just experienced this huge disappointment and forgot to put informing you above my pain. “

3. The Probbers

Then you have the people who have heard via gossip who message or call you to get you to tell them. They have already heard from somewhere else. I know you are wondering why they contact you so that you can repeat the same news to them, unfortunately, I have no idea either. They have never showed concern for your relationship before and today all of a sudden you recieve that strange message saying;

“Hey! How are you doing? How is your boyfriend?”

I see what you’re trying to do there but if you are not my friend enough to show genuine concern then I’m sorry you need to go back where you from and do better.

 4. Those who do not care

These really hurt right in the feels. These are the ones who are dear to you who you did tell about what you are going through, but never bothered to check on you passed the time you last spoke about the break up.

Let me get this right. Someone is going through a rough time and you do not care enough to check on them despite being fully aware of it? They trusted you enough to open up to you and you can’t be bothered to send a message or call them and just find out how they are doing? Understandably some will get busy with other things going on in their lives but take a second to just let the person know you are thinking of them. That makes a whole lot of a difference.

5. The Ready

A day after you let them know you are going through a breakup they have a fully compiled list of new options for you. It almost feels like they had the list ready before the break up happened.

Jamie from the church conference last year

Chipo from the youth group

Temwani from that sister church

Chikondi who has been your friend for a long time

Hilary from your class

Excuse me? Its barely been a minute since I lost the person I had plans to spend the rest of my life with. If you could just chill that would be nice.

 6. The Angels on Earth

These people are such a breath of fresh air. They contact you to basically talk about anything and nothing because they know that you are probably getting lonely. When you open up about how you are feeling they listen and thoughtfully guide you through your thought process. They message you to just let you know they are praying for you. They call you to just check on you and laugh with you. They may not hear about the break up from you but once they do they are quick to not make it about themselves and see that there is someone in need so how can I help and make the pain less unbearable.

Which of these are you? Break ups are not easy seasons, heart break is so painful. Be mindful to not make light other peoples heartbreak. I cannot emphasize enough how trying break ups are. Be the person who shows genuine concern. Let’s search our hearts and ask God to help us to be the angels on earth.